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Believe it or not, I am pregnant again.

I am one of the creatures who enjoy daydreaming; but I have never pictured myself having three kids - until a few days ago. This time it’s real.

God I can’t believe this is happening to me and I don’t like it for the following 10 reasons:

1. I am too busy to have a third child.
2. I have just managed to lose all the baby fat I put on with #2.
3. I can’t afford the demanded resource (time, energy, money, …).
4. I don’t like it.
5. I don’t like it.
6. I don’t like it.
7. I don’t like it.
8. I don’t like it.
9. I don’t like it.
10. I don’t like it.

I wish I could punch my husband in the face, but he was too tall (so I punched him on the chest).

Then I realized it was not his fault. It was not anyone’s fault. It doesn’t matter!

What matters is how to deal with it.

Well said - but how?

It’s funny we humans sometimes create our own problems. My friends in China think I am crazy to even worry about it. To them, this is a no-brainer.

Same issue, different level of difficulty…

I must be the reason for the difference.

I wish I (and my husband) could stop thinking too much. It’s not a baby yet. It cannot feel anything. It’s like a tiny blob of tissue - except that one day it can grow into a baby, a cheerful girl like Isabella, or a smart boy like William…

Oh God this is soooooo difficult!

Why do I have to go through this?

I don’t like it.

A brief update on the weight loss progress.

I lost somewhere between 3 and 5 lbs in the past week (somehow, it appeared that I gained 2 lbs today since I got up in the morning. Must be the hydration effect - 2 lbs of water isn’t that much when you think about it. That makes me think maybe I should set a specific time of the day for weight checking). Anyways, I am satisfied with the progress and, more importantly, I can feel the difference in terms of energy level.

I have been pretty strict with both the workout routines and the diet. Switched more workout to late night versus during the day time (for reasons detailed below); stopped drinking fruit juice (replaced with Vitamins and H2O). Successfully turned away some wonderfully smelling butter pecan ice cream offered by the son and the huby (both orchestrated by the huby, I believe ).

Regarding the workout - I have found out that it’s more effective to do it when the body is under stress. For me, late night seems to be the best. That’s when I feel totally worn out by all the day time activities and the kids; and since I eat light dinner, that’s also when I feel a little hungry. Workout under such condition seems to “burn” more fat.

It might not be scientific, but my interpretation is that when the body is under stress, it is more inclined to using the “emergency energy storage” (body fat) to meet the workout needs, especially when the stomach is empty. Workout with a full (or even partially full) stomach simply triggers the body to digest food and intake energy more efficiently. Since there is plenty of cheap/convenient energy source (food), there is no need to tap the emergency reserve (body fat). In fact, there could even be some sort of feedback mechanism that tells the body to convert more energy to fat storage, to prepare for future demand.

In fact, the “theory” is well supported by the dramatic weight gain during preganancy. The body is constantly under an  ”absorb and store” emergency state that it converts any available energy into fat even if one is not eating much. That’s also why people can still become over-weighted when there isn’t enough to eat, such as during the war or a famine.

Scientific or not, workout at late night works great for me -

1. It allows me to focus on the routines.
2. It feels rewarding - I know for sure that I am consuming energy; I know my stomach is empty; and I know the body has to “burn” something to provide the energy. That sense of assurance feels pretty good.
3. It makes the hot shower afterwards feel even better than it sounds .
4. I always have a great deal of time to rest and let the body to recover.

32 lbs to go…